Friday, June 20, 2008

the only thing to fear is fearlessness

coming down off of a post-concert high, I was listening to the R.E.M. song 'Heyna' and heard the above quote. It hit me that it's very relevant to my life right now. Hana has just started to pull herself to standing on her own and it's very exciting, but it's also a precursor of what is to come...walking, running, falling down, scrapes, skinned knees, etc. It's amazing to me that children have no sense of fear built in (except for what they learn from their parents). Hana will touch anything, put everything in her mouth, crawl to the edge of things, basically go anywhere that looks interesting (especially places that have wires, cords, and live electricity). i love her inquisitive nature, but it's also exhausting to make sure she's not going to hurt herself. I know she has to get hurt, learn from her mistakes, etc. Watching her grow has been the most enthralling experience of my life- watching her discover her body and her surroundings, and seeing her uninhibited reactions, and her geniune happiness, brings so much joy to my life.

I need to stay inspired by her fearlessness...to make my own decisions about my career and creativity. It's hard to get motivated to take care of myself physically and emotionally, and I'm finally starting to do so. Not sure where it will lead, but things need to be shaken up a little bit. If I'm not ok with leaving Hana in the morning to pursue a career, it's not worth the effort.

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