worst. lunch. ever.

Lunchtime is precious to me- as a working mom, it's the time of day when I can choose to go wherever I want to, and eat whatever I feel like. I try to choose lunch places wisely because of this. Especially now that I'm pregnant with #2- I want to satisfy all of my cravings, which mostly means cheese. A few of the 'busties' and I decided to pay a visit to Danku for lunch. Y and P always pass by and were intrigued by the use of 'organic' 'natural' and 'eco friendly' in their menu. I have been avoiding this place because I've read a few negative reviews, but they apparently offer Dutch and Indonesian fare in an enviromentally friendly atmosphere, so we figured we could give it a try. It had been awhile since I read anything negative, so perhaps they worked out the kinks... Oh, how wrong we were!! We were in for one of the worst lunches we ever had, anywhere...

The place itself seemed harmless enough- minimal decor, with the appearance of cleanliness. They had a very elaborate recycling program, which I wish was adopted by more places. We walked in close to 1pm, and we were the only patrons. The staff behind the counter were actually quite friendly (perhaps just thrilled to see patrons), and were excited to give us their lunch recommendations. I do have to wonder if they actually ate the same food that we did. I wanted to try some of the Dutch offerings, so I ordered three 'krokets', which basically look like fried turds. The first one I tried was 'chili con carne'. I had a feeling that I'd regret this order, but I was trying to be adventurous. The outside was crunchy and acceptable, but the inside...it had a horrible pasty consistency, and tasted worse than something you would get in a public school cafeteria (and smelled as such). I do not know how it was 'chili' or 'carne' but there was some sort of gristle that was apparently meat, with a very salty taste. It was revolting. Ok, the next one I tried was the mozzarella and tomato kroket. How bad can that be? It's fried cheese! I love the greasy goodness of the mozzarella sticks found in various bars and chain restaurants in every part of the country. Never met a fried cheese product that I didn't like...until now. Same horribly pasty consistency, with a nauseating slight sweetness and strange tang that was probably the 'tomato'. Again, very salty. If it had just been cheese, it may have been edible. I'd say it was the 'best' of the worst. The worst one was actually the spinach and artichoke kroket. I love spinach artichoke dip, so I thought this one sounded promising. It was so sticky I wouldn't even call it pasty...more like beige liquid concrete with bits of green inside. The flavor was so off-putting that I can hardly describe it. I could hardly believe what I was eating. Dipping sauces accompanied the krokets, but they are not worth mentioning, and if anything, made them worse. Now, I can't claim to know what authentic krokets taste like, but I cannot believe that they would taste anything like this. I have had croquets from many different cultures, and they have all been at least 'good'.

Y and GB opted for the Indonesian noodles with tofu satay. They were both so horrified with their lunches that they were speechless. Y said that it tasted like the lowest form of airplane food, and GB seemed to agree. I couldn't understand how they could mess up noodles so badly, so I had a taste for myself. They may actually have been worse than my krokets. P ordered a sandwich and asked for it without cheese, and of course it showed up with cheese. He waited a long time to get a replacement. He did say that it tasted ' fine' though. He also ordered a 'spicy kale soup' that tasted ok, but lacked any hint of spicyness. The only thing that seemed passable was the green salad that came with the kroket combo that B ordered. She said the salad was fresh and crispy. The one amusement of our experience was watching AP attempt to re-arrange the wooden tulips that were sitting in a vase at our table. He kept trying to make them look better.

Our lunch experience was so disappointing, that I actually wanted my lunchtime back. I left feeling full but completely unsatisfied, and a little sad. Thankfully Y knew of a small Swedish cafe called Fika around the corner that had lovely looking pastries and delicious coffee. At least we had a tasty dessert, so not all was lost.